A Self-Storage Fairy Tale
February 24, 2020 Uncategorized
Once upon a time there were three bears…
Momma Bear, Poppa Bear and Gen Z Bear lived in a very small, very cluttered English cottage. When Gen Z bear left for college, Momma and Poppa turned his bedroom into a Zen/Yoga retreat and stored the contents of Gen Z’s room in the attic. They enjoyed a quiet existence, meditating and practicing Kundalini Yoga for stress relief. They loved to hibernate in this cozy space during the winter months. Gen Z bear had been a handful, and they assumed that, after college, he would get a job and move out. Ha!!!
Gen Z, to his parents dismay, did not get a job and move on with his life. He came home after graduation to ponder his life’s “meaning and purpose.” While living in the basement, he began calling his Momma and Poppa M and P (because it was “cool”). He ate all of their honey and hung out with Goldilocks (they’d been friends since she broke into the bear’s house 18 years ago). Being a “digital native,” he surrounded himself with technology and wiled away his days FaceTiming Goldi, gaming, and posting Instagram selfies performing brainless stunts – all very meaningful pursuits.
Don’t get me wrong. Momma and Poppa loved Gen Z, but they also loved a peaceful existence and a tidy home. The longer Gen Z lived at home, the messier the house became. The closets were overflowing,Gen Z’s college furniture and assorted junk were added to an already overcrowded attic, and every surface in the house was sticky because Gen Z didn’t wash his paws after snacking on honeycomb. Everytime Poppa wanted to watch Animal Planet, his fur stuck to the remote. Momma gave up cleaning because she couldn’t wade through the debris. This family would have been the perfect candidates for Hoarding: “Bearied” Alive.
Momma and Poppa were miserable. Their serenity was replaced by a chaotic, disorderly environment. Conversation was replaced with growling; They growled at each other and they growled at Gen Z, who was oblivious because he was in a gaming induced coma. To maintain their sanity, Momma and Poppa decided to start practicing yoga at the local studio. As fate would have it, the yoga studio had a bulletin board for advertisements from community businesses. Poppa noticed an ad from the local self-storage facility. He immediately checked the self-storage website on his mobile phone. This could be the solution to their clutter problem.
The minute they got home (and unstuck their paws from the door knob) Momma and Poppa checked the website further and discovered a blog to help them choose the right storage facility for their needs. Poppa called the facility that was the best fit for them and discussed his options with the manager. Momma made an inventory of all the things that they needed to put in self storage, and she decided on a climate-controlled unit to protect her fur coat and Gen Z’s extra technology paraphernalia. Poppa was thrilled to discover that this facility had vehicle storage. He would finally be able to back his car out of the garage without slamming into Gen Z’s motorcycle.
When Momma discovered that the facility sold moving and packing supplies, they headed straight over to buy enough boxes, tape, and bubble wrap to pack up the clutter. They were careful to keep the bubble wrap away from Gen Z. Popping it was one of his favorite pastimes.
Little by little, they packed and moved everything they didn’t need. They kept the “bear minimum,” keeping only what gave them joy. With all of their excess belongings moved to a clean, secure, affordable storage unit, their problem was solved. The house was clean, and the clutter was gone. It was a big job, but it was more than worth the effort to move their overflow into storage. Once again, their home is tidy and organized, conversation has replaced growling, and the motorcycle is safely stored away in its own unit…and everyone lived happily ever after…
except Gen Z, because Poppa arranged a job interview for him at the storage facility.
Good luck with that.